I could have mohawked her pubes.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He shit in the fireplace
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
