K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
