what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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