I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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