ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
