would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
