Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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