I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
