Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
