dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
