people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
