cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just shotgunned beers for America
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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