Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Randomize
