nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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