This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
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I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
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I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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