Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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