The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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