Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
