SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
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Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
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I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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