The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Randomize
