Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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