did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
