She is in my trunk
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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