You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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