You're so nebulous sometimes
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I faked an abortion last night.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
