you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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