Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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