Don't you send me to vm
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Randomize
