It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
