my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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