The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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