Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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