I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
