Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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