i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
