So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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