Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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