So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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