Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Drunk is not a location!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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