If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
