dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
