PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We need to rekindle our bromance
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
