Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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