just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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