How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
