I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
