So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
