I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
so much tequila, so little girl.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
