wrigley field is MILF paradise
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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