So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
as a side note pls kill me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
