His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
