i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
