Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Randomize
