I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
