Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
