I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
