is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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