Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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