I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
