i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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