so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize