I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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