Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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